| 1. A Christi-bot shall use the believed will of 'god to be his or her standard of moral goodness. That which follows the will of 'god' is morally good and that which opposes the will of 'god' shall be considered morally evil and therefore a sin, ergo if 'god' forces children to eat their parents as he allegedly did in Ezekiel 5, then this must be considered morally good by all Christi-bots if for no other reason other than "'god' done it", even if this 'god' character says he's doing evil, as he did in Ezekiel 5. 2. A Christi-bot shall believe that 'god' created everything including life and all the rules of the universe, but shall never hold 'god' responsible for anything that occurs or anything that this believed to exist 'god' allegedly does. All blame must be deflected onto "lesser" beings that it allegedly created, even though they may or may not have freewill. In other words, if mankind is "flawed", then either he intentionally designed us to be flawed, (in which case the buck stops with 'god'), or he's not a very intelligent designer. Take your pick. In David's/Paul's pottery example, they blame the pottery for being flawed and not the potter for making flawed pottery. Of course, this makes no sense. 3. All Christi-bots shall follow a double standard as all things are perceived to be good for 'god' to do, yet not always good for non-gods to do. If 'god' starves to death those opposed to being slaves to his will, as he allegedly did in Ezekiel 5 and Jeremiah 19, then this is morally good. If Joseph Stalin starved 20 million people to death in Siberia for the same reason, then this is evil. 4. A Christi-bot shall lie, cheat and bullshit when it comes to painting any favorable light upon 'god', especially when it comes to nonsense or contradictory or contrary biblical verses. Under no circumstances shall a Christi-bot admit to lying, cheating and bullshitting for 'god's' sake, even though Paul said it was not an evil sin to do so in Romans 3:7-8. 5. A Christi-bot shall be incapable of insight, abstract thinking, self-awareness, spiritual growth, and evolution. 6. A christi-bot shall not acknowledge and shall soon forget any and all logical arguments and/or evidence antagonistic to the continued belief in the YHWH 'god' of the bible, and this selective amnesia is to be known as "Christian Alzheimer's". 7. When a Christi-bot prays, he or she must consider all seemingly relevant and related positives to be an act or answer from 'god', and systematically ignore all "negatives" where there seems to not be any 'god' to hear any prayers at all. 8. All Christi-bots, when pressed on 'god' the father's roll as someone who forced Jesus to die for Christian's sins or allow everyone on the planet to go to hell, will systematically side step this information and start talking about how Jesus is 'god', how 'god' loves them and and how Jesus planned his own suicide. 9. No Christi-bot shall admit that Jesus' death was a Kevorkian-like planned suicide machine that Jesus had to activate before it could function. 10. All Christi-bots shall discount, marginalize and minimize the passion and suffering of the alleged christ, while considering the Resurrection, where they get off the hook from paying what they call their just dues and fair dues, is considered the most important point. |
| The Ten Rules of Christi-bots |
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| (Resistance is futile) |
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| (Offered in the spirit of Asimov's Three Rules of Robotics |